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My Favorite Movies, Bands, and People
In Progress
Poems And Songs
"METHAMPHETAMINES KILLING THINGS"
Breathe in, Breathe out.
Nostrils flare in defiance.
A glass tube filled with vapors to spill.
A dollar bill turned into a green and white kaleidoscope,
Picking up trails that give you a different viewpoint of the world.
Washington is laughing at you..he's laughing.
Where it isn't as glamorous as boogie nights,
But you are still compared to L.A. and its powder/fuck scene.
Then you start to whittle away at conversations,
That would have been long since lost.
In that brain that you have grown so big to do your thinking.
Being as it may that this is what you've chosen,
Your life has become frozen, a solid wall of ice...
Isn't it nice? A day to call your own....
Your funeral has come and gone leaving you in the wake,
Looking at yourself in the mirror wondering how you are alive.
Your flesh ripples with nerves and muscles form you never knew you had.
Each idea is a new theory and you become the scientist,
Although it wasn't you who cooked the shit.
And then you come down....in ways and means,
And you lose what you have gained in the blink of an eye...well several rapid ones.
And your hourglass tips and you are falling instead of floating,
To the cloud that you've been on...
My angels were demons, My angels were demons....
But what were you running from? Where were you going to child?
And what have you found,
That leaves you broken and barely breathing....
And laying prone down on the ground?
Realization commands you to move,
But in essence you can't...
Because at the moment there is none...
Your disease, your vampire, your fever....
It has bled you dry of everything you care for...
Leaving you in the wake of something much too large to climb alone.
But then you realize you've constructed this mountain in a matter of minutes.
All of your help is on the other side...
Already turning their backs towards another peak.
Look at you kid, yeah you'll make it.
You've got your pick axe and a few crackers...
It's the odds...but haven't you always been that odd or at least against them?
But be wary of the peaks that may leave you breathless,
Let's hope your travels will be safe,
If you don't die from the lack of oxygen on the way back down.
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"ZEPHYR"
And In My Dreams Tonight,
I will hold you with my arms.
Arms so lucid,
That the air makes them stir like static on a T.V.
But they are there though I'm a thousand miles away.
In my arms is where you stay,
A prisoner of my own device.
And in my dreams tonight,
I will ensnare you with my charm,
I will never let you go.
Don't go, not till I'm finished with what I want to say.
That though the times have changed you,
You will always remain like a statue.
Granite has never made me cry,
Stones get wet for the first time.
It's time that you found a way out,
Make your exit, stage left...
Before I recover from your kiss.... ---------------------------------------- "COTERIE"
Today I sliced open a vein,
I dug around in it so I could feel the pain.
I didn't want to make it go away.
I just wanted it to linger,
A nostalgic way of reminding me that life can be felt.
Excuses are made in times like this,
Ways to back out of what you truly want to do.
I may be clammy to the touch by morning,
But tonight my insides are on fire with senses.
On a plane where Sanguine dreams no longer horrify,
They just seem to ebb away,
Awaiting their consumption at the hands of cobwebs.
And where corpses swing like fresh meat sealed up tight,
In a plastic lining that could have been last night's lunch meat.
Red and fading, Red and fading
Bled and hating the absence of the truth.
In the process my lips become a little blue.
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"I COULD KILL YOU (But That Would Be Doing You A Favor)"
And then it's done...
Time heals all wounds....
And I am a good person
And I will rise above
If I live through tonight...
I find it hard to breathe
There is a lump in my throat
But I am pushing it back down.
I will never ever ever ever open up to another single human being
For the rest of my short lived life...I make this my vow.
I will live alone and I will die alone
I don't want anyone near me, I don't want anyone close to me
Don't look at me, don't touch me, don't share my air
I will no longer look at myself as a person.
I am cutting everything off....
The sun must set on everyone...
Rot, decay must come one day....
Today for me, tomorrow for you
I am the undead
The hunted becomes the hunter
What a sick game
And Oh I love a good bloodbath
Go fucking die
You righteous son of a bitch
I love you you fucking bastard
And I hope you are lonely....
I hope you remain alone...
Or you fill that void with useless space
A waste of time and a waste of grace
Wipe that smile from off your face
So wish me the worst
I see you killing me in your mind...
Funny how the true nature comes out
When you try to do what is right
I am the dark and you are the light
It can't all be day, there must come night
And in that absence you will feel empty
Or in your case half full....of liquor
To make you forget that you are even alive...
You call me pathetic but you should turn to the mirror
The reflection is you
Do you like what you see?
It doesn't matter in your oblivion
Your eyes are black holes
Truth is I've never felt so beaten
But scars they give character.
Forget you wanted to know me,
Shouldn't be too hard....just be yourself.
Just like the others heartless and drunken and nonchalant.
You haven't the faintest idea of my reality
I'll never give you that chance...
I see the wheels turning in your head even now
Checkmate
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"PRECOGNITIVE SUICIDE"
Serenity is the thing that keeps me twitching,
Scratching; itching; tearing at my flesh.
For it is too quiet a time and I have had many a mad season.
I can't bring to my altar of consciousness,
Because it is but isn't really there.
Things thrash and wave to and fro but
It never really calms...it just gets so still.
Until you feel your eyes peel,
And you let your blood spill.
Cascading down a river to pool at your own feet.
It is a time when I am glad to be here...
A time in which I pray for peroxide.
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"IKARUS"
Diary of a mad man,
Listen to my urges...
Because that is what I taught you.
Angels in mid-flight,
Their heads they hit the ceiling.
Did it hurt very much?
It couldn't have hurt so bad.
But now that you're grounded,
Won't you come a little closer?
And with this wax from a blazing black candle,
All Feathers and tar.
We'll construct your way out.
Fly away from this hell,
Because you'll be my most beautiful masterpiece,
These strokes are mighty and confident.
And I'll wait for you to fly,
But heed the sun that will
Most surely bring you back to me.
For I will feel relieved,
If I never see your face again
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"A SILENCE THAT CAN'T BE NAMED"
The Rain is staccato,
Incessantly drumming on the windshield.
And the traffic lights are all out of focus,
Creating an amber warmth though the wind is biting.
And it is a liquid haze,
From the cascading flood from overhead.
And I am on my way to the Post Office and then,
To see if I can find my way back home again.
Just follow the breadcrumbs....
And I see some birds on the horizon.
But nothing has ever scared me,
Half as much as loving you.
And it has never been so easy,
To stifle the lust of last Summer.
Because your eyes carry the chill of December,
But your body holds the warmth from July.
So as long as I don't touch you,
I think that I should be just fine.
While on my way home I park the car,
And the skies brighten for a moment,
And I swear I saw your face,
Etched in the sunshine, but then vanish without a trace.
In that instant the sky blackened back,
And after all this time and execution,
All my strategically placed breadcrumbs,
Well they have been devoured.
You leave me lost...
And now I can't find my home?
Are you my home?
Where is my home?
It's a silence that cannot be named.
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"Chrysalis: Or The Masking Of All Ugliness"
And when I think about leaving this world,
I think of you and then it all seems like dirty dishwater.
The heart is nothing in comparison
To the edge of a blade that is stained sanguine.
With heart pulp hanging from the serrated edge,
I will do myself this dishonorable discharge.
I wonder why I feel so lonely when I am surrounded,
Wonder why the water's so low,
Yet I complain I'm drowning...
I'm just another bloated corpse,
And the tide will carry me away,
Into the sea where I will be
Alone with this deep monsterous void.
It swallows me...lobotomy
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"LOT 47"
I have a history of violence,
And of contemplating silence.
And of chronic Masturbation,
When I think the world is coming to an end.
So here's a toast to YOU,
A toast to me,
A toast to who you thought I'd be.
Completely different from those times I let you win.
I'm the loving kind,
When I'm drenched in wine,
Everything feels fine.
When you tie me down and fuck me on the bed.
And I've lost my head again,
Yeah I've lost my will again.
And I'm not quite sure that it means a goddamn thing.
It's the reason I believe in it,
Another distant scene I get,
When I look into your eyes and see my ghost.
It's the moment that I see in you,
The things that I wished would come true.
And I really don't like to see that side of me.
It all comes down, yeah it all comes down,
To that day you thought you had me,
That day that's quite so sadly...
That day I like to call "History"
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"ISENGARD"
In the time it takes to make,
In the time it takes to break.
In the time it takes,
To take the time to make things break.
In between those times is where I live.
One moment to another rebuilding what is left of my city.
My castles are dust and ruins hold such legend,
That perhaps to have been the king of my castle,
At one time meant something to me.
Now the tides have changed and I am a ghost,
Trapped within corridors that I know I'll never leave.
Haunting all those who come in contact with the spoils of my heart.
Dare to tread, where few men go...and return from nevermore.
I'll eat you up my dear,
I'll spit you out...
Blood dripping from my lips,
And a grin from ear to ear.
But when asked if I love you,
I'll reply with a frown...
Not out of spite my love,
Because it's just a great big show.
The time it takes to make and break,
Is the time I have left in this world...
I want to see the light on your face,
I want to kiss your skin,
But I am lost in my prison of stone.
I couldn't feel a thing beyond the pain I've known.
I want you and I echo that from every crevice
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
And these last words I will never speak again.
So will you hold my hand?
I'm but a transparent man....
In hopes of stealing your breath.
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"A HYMN FOR HIM"
Rhythmic breaths,
His fingers drumming on my chest.
Delight in my heart,
Couldn't stop for to start.
It's that scent of sweet sweat,
It's still so fresh yet on your breath.
My lover, who did you call on tonight?
I would forgive you,
If for once you just spoke the truth.
But you wear that shit-eating grin
Around your neck like a noose.
I've let you penetrate me,
In ways you will never see.
And though you use and abuse me,
It's a decadence that in refusal I believe.
I'm moaning and writhing beneath you.
As you smother me with pillows,
I imagine them to be clouds.
And as you come I am alone,
Thy will be done.
Copyright 2005 (All by Adam T.)
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